Thursday 26 June 2014

AWBA: ICW - ...tIMe

Disclaimer: This article is just a little bit of fun really. Enjoy.  (This article was originally published in June and updated in July)

That. That was interesting. It was also incredibly short, and is all Insane Championship Wrestling gave us a few days ago. What the hell does it all mean? Well, with the spate of wrestlers being future endeavoured right now, as well as the eyes of the world seemingly focusing on ICW, this could mean anything. Let's take a fun look at the facts and the odds.

The Facts
I have been reliably informed that the video description translates to "Will Rise After It Fal" and that the binary within the video translates to "13/14" which adds to 27. The 27th of July is the date of ICW's next Glasgow show, Shug's Hoose Party. The video is also an hourglass. The title is essentially "Time". WHAT?!

The Odds
Most people, myself included, think this is a hint towards a wrestler appearing on the 27th of July at Shug's Hoose Party. But who could that wrestler be? Let's take a look at the shortlist:

Drew McIntyre / Galloway - 1/66
Drew McIntyre, before he was Drew McIntyre, was Drew Galloway. The inaugural ICW Heavyweight Champion, Drew went on to hit the big time, the mecca of wrestling, the WWE. You either will or wont know of his WWE career, but either way what you perhaps don't know is Drew was recently let go. Fired. Told to take a hike. Or left of his own accord. Either way, he is no longer of the employ of WWE. He has appeared on podcasts discussing his future, one of those podcasts by a man called Chris Jericho. A man who had promos quite like the one above. Who also liked time, and countdowns. Hmmm......

Oh, and Drew is already booked to return to another Scottish promotion he called home and who called him champion, making his return after 7 years to BCW on August 29th.

He's confirmed to be in the country. He's been missed at ICW. He is the original insane champion. He has connections to the video. It all makes sense. Drew Galloway is the odds-on favourite.


New evidence has arisen and a challenger appears to Drew Galloway's title. ...tIME eh? Time?! TIME!?! What about this:

Rob McKai - 1/20
Last seen, I believe, at September's "There's Something About Maryhill" where he was involved in a multi-man angle, specifically with Adam Shame. Haven't heard what he's done since and have no insight about what this could mean for the future, really, which is incredibly lazy journalism I know, but the video had Time in the title, so deal with that! Ha! .... Ha?

William Grange - 12/1 3/1
Once one half of the formidable STI tag team with now NAK-aligned Dickie Divers, Grange hasn't been seen since I believe April 2013, and hasn't wrestled in ICW since the STI split in March 2013. Excuse my ignorance as I'm not entirely sure why he has disappeared off the Insane face of the Wrestling earth, but I miss him and I'm not alone. How does this tie into the video above? Because you can't spell "S" tIMe without STI, and "..." is Morse code for "S". Makes sense eh? In fact, I'm revising these odds. Switch Red Lightning and William Grange about editor! (Editor's Note: There is no Editor.) ((Editor's Note: Turns out there is an Editor, and it's me! Red Lightning and William Grange have now been switched.)

Fergal Devitt - 5/1
Because it's Devitt. Because he already said this is his home. Because he will never leave us. Because I want to write 33 articles on his reign in ICW. Because I miss him already :-(

CM Punk - 9/1
Bear with me here, I've not gone Insane. CM Punk is pretty much a free agent at this point. I've heard he is under contract with WWE until July, but then he is his own man. CM Punk is a friend of Colt Cabana. Colt Cabana has wrestled for ICW and will do so again, four times no less, before the end of the Summer. CM Punk is also known to like ice hockey. Ice hockey is cold. Scotland is cold.

Thus CM Punk will attend Shug's Hoose Party, have a warm reception despite not understanding a single drunken Scottish word of it, then go on to engage in four amazing triple threat matches with Colt Cabana and Grado in Edinburgh for the whole of August! I am the best in the world at predictions.

Red Lightning - 3/1 12/1
Alright, alright. So that is far too obvious. Who is next then? Who is dastardly, sick, conniving enough to pull our heartstrings thusly? Surely it's got to be the master heel himself, Red Lightning?

Ever since losing the ICW Heavyweight title to Mikey Whiplash last year, it seems Red has been perennially set to return. First it was his barnstorming fight that got taken to the streets of Maryhill against Wolfgang back at September 2013's "There's Something About Maryhill" event. Then his attempt to dethrone Jack Jester at April 27th's "Show Me Your Lizard", a match that itself could garner its own article. Whenever talk of someone 'returning' arises, Red Lightning is on the tip of everyone's tongue.

I personally would love to see this and think it could be smartly played out as a trick on all of us by the original wanker turned "People's Wanker".

Big Van Vader - 18/1
It's time. It's all about time. Who is the master of time? Vader. It's Vader time. Time time time. Get the connection yet? Vader time.

Vader's last match was back in 2012 as far as I am aware, but he did a few back then so it's not inconceivable that he could return. And the bloke is right up ICW's street - he ate both of Mick Foley's ear and half his eye, or something. Anyway, aye. If it's about time, it's Vader Time!

The Sumerian Death Squad - 22/1
They are known for their weird promos, all vague, mysterious, crazy cuts. Conspiracy theories. All this has the hallmarks of The SDS. But, they are usually a bit more direct. And having recently been ICW Tag Team Champions, there is really no reason for all this mystery if it is them. Still, I'm incredibly scared of Tommy End and Michael Dante, so I feel I have to include them. Even if this was a list of my favourite goalscorers of the World Cup, I would probably still include them just to be safe, and I don't even know if either man has visited Brazil let alone scored an incredible goal there.

Teddy Long - 33/1
I originally read the title as "...tlMe" and began to theorise that it stood for "... teddy long Main event" and that it would be a special Tag Team edition of ICW at Shug's Hoose Party that would see the likes of Noam Dar team up with Lewis Girvan to take on the team of Jack Jester and Solar, just because they were all hanging about randomly backstage when Teddy Long appeared as special guest booker of the show. Then I learned to read and realised this wouldn't happen. And got sad :-(

Michael Gilbert - 66/1
If you're reading this and just asked yourself "Who?", get out. Go discover who, then come back. Back now? Realised it was Mikey Whiplash did you? Cept the man doesn't need a gimmick, and he apparently doesn't need to wrestle for ICW either, having last competed at March's "Still Smoking" event, putting an end to his war with Grado. I personally don't see it happening (my personal wager is on it being CM Punk btw), but someone (Alayne) is adamant it will happen. See if you're right, I'll give you 66 shots of Bucky, alright?

The Boogeyman - 70/1
The guy loves knowing the time.

Jindar Mahal - 80/1
Picture speaks a thousand words.

Credits: I normally try and accredit every picture, video, etc I use on this blog. But I haven't here. This was just for fun and all the pictures were Google searched, if you see one you made and want credit for it and/or removal, let me know.

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